There is power in your words. You may not realize the impact your words have on your life and in the lives of others, but once you become aware of it, you become better at creating the change you want to make. On today’s show, Julia Gentry and Travis Gentry shine some light on the power of your words and how much your words matter. Don’t miss this enlightening episode to discover some things you could be saying that’s ultimately stopping you from living your dreams.
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Your Words Matter
We’re going to talk about your words matter, specifically meaning is that the power of your words, even if you are joking or say you’re joking, because sometimes you’ll be talking to someone and they’ll say something and they’ll be like, “Just joking.” Are they joking? Is it truely what they’re feeling? It’s like they’re testing the waters to throw it out there and then to pull it back depending on how you respond.
In our life, as you progress in becoming an active participant in your life, you realize how conscious you have to live your life. You don’t realize how unconsciously you were living before. This is seen in the words that you use. Before, you don’t even realize that you’re doing it. You don’t realize that your words matter. You don’t realize that the words have power. You don’t realize the impact that it’s having on your life and other people’s lives until you start to become aware. This is the first step in any process to becoming better in creating change, then you start to become aware and you’re like, “The power of my words is beyond me.” We wanted to share with you to shine some light on the power of your words and how much your words matter. We’re going to share with you some nuggets of things that you could be saying that’s ultimately stopping you from living your dreams.
These are phrases or words that we hear instantly now that we’re consciously aware of our words and how much of an impact it has because some of these words I heard growing up or I used to say. When you’re aware of them, you don’t want to say them because what you think on the inside and how you feel is a direct correlation to external, especially in the results as well. Whether it’s food, health, emotion, or money especially, that’s a big one. Some of your words are exactly how you feel, then that’s how you act, which is the result that you have and the fruit in your life.
We’re also going to be a little bit of a crystal ball. We can almost predict where you’re going to end up in 5, 10, or 15 years if you keep using these words. We’re not going to shame you or guilt you because you’re saying that. We’re going to use this episode as an opportunity to shine some light on the fact that words matter and here is a whole handful of phrases that you didn’t know that you were saying that is keeping you from getting to where you want to be most. You should stop saying them.
Rethink when you’re saying these words and look from the inside out. If you say some of these phrases or words, why are you saying them? Where does it come from? That’s what I want you to look at because I guarantee all of these are not serving you.
I’ve always been a writer. I’ve been journaling since I was a little kid. We’ve moved sixteen times since we’ve been married. We celebrated our 12th anniversary. We had a baby dedication the same day that we had an anniversary. Our friends came to the door and we had a lockbox because someone’s bound to forget to leave the key. We’d try to get four kids in the car and between us, someone’s going to forget the key or need a key. We keep a lockbox on there so we always have the entrance and the key. He gets to the door and he was like, “Are you guys moving again? Why is there a lockbox on your door?” They ask the question, “How many times have you moved in the last twelve years since you’ve been married?” We counted sixteen times. As we’re moving, we’ve sold everything, the whole thing, but my journals continue to come with us. I appreciate my husband for letting my 1,200 journals go with us.
This is when I started to learn the power of words. As I’m in this editing process even writing my book, every word matters, and the definition of these words matter. The reason that words are powerful as I’m learning this is that there are no biases in our words. They are what they are. There are a couple of different iterations of words. There’s an Aversion, there’s a B version of what it means, but a word is a word. It means what it means. We’re the ones as humans that all of a sudden create biases, judgments, opinions, and all these things.
When you study the purity and the essence of a word defined whether it’s in Hebrew, Greek, or in our culture. A word’s definition is a word’s definition. Words matter and they’re black or white. The second thing that appeared to us is when we started naming our children, it’s because we believed that every time we say their name, we are speaking something over them. Every name also has meaning. Every time we say Malakai, we’re saying messenger, “You are a messenger.” Every time we say, Nixon, his name means victory. We’re saying, “You are victorious.” Every time we say Azlan, it means a brave lion. We say their names a lot. We love their names.
You made a good point. You have to know that though. The meaning behind it for Azlan or Nixon could mean something different. We know the meaning. We like the meaning. When we speak their name, we know what it means. It’s almost like a cuss word. If I were to say the F word, you can interpret it, however, your upbringing or what you heard about that word, because it could mean something good or it can mean something bad. It’s the meaning that you’ve created around it.
That’s what I’m saying. When you look at a word, it has no meaning other than the ones that we give it, but when you start to look at it for what it means, it brings some insight. When we started naming our kids, we knew the power of the words. We wanted to ensure that when we were saying their name Azlan, Nixon, and Zion, there was an embodiment of this is what it means. This is what we’re speaking over you. This is the power of this. If we’re going to say your name eleven times a day, we wanted it to have power. The essence of it is that the words bring life and words can create death. They matter.If you don't like your results, change the words that you speak. Click To Tweet
Let’s start with what we heard growing up. What is a phrase that you heard growing up that over a period of time, you had an awakening and you’re like, “I’m not going to say that word or phrase anymore” because you were getting the fruit in your life from saying that, or the awareness of like, “How strong words matter? I’m not going to say that because I don’t want that result.”
Why don’t you start?
We can’t afford that. We heard it quite a few times growing up.
For everybody reading. Think about it. When was the last time you heard yourself say, “I can’t afford that or we can’t afford that?”
If you have kids and you’re at the grocery store and they ask for something, you say, “We can’t afford that.”
What did that do to you as a kid?
As a kid I didn’t understand until I started learning like, “What does that mean?” “We can’t afford it” as opposed to, “How can we afford it?” I read, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker. He gives an example of like, “Have a conversation with me for five minutes and I’ll tell you where you’re going.” How powerful words are, especially money. That was later, there’s got to be an earlier point where I was like, “I want to think about how can I.” That’s when I got a job. I was like, “We can’t afford that. You can’t afford that, which is fine, but how can I afford that?” I need to go make money to afford whatever I want. That was the evolution of like, “I’m going to go get a job when I’m fifteen so I can have whatever I want.”
It’s interesting that you say that because I was talking to someone. We were talking about all of this concept of dreaming and a lot of people are pinging us saying, “Tell me more and what do you mean?” I’m sharing with her the vision and why we believe in dreaming and all that. She says, “We can’t afford to that. My husband works, we have to pay our bills, we have our mortgage, and we have all the things that life brings with it. It’s funny that you’re even saying this.” I was like, “What do you mean?” The minute you say, “I can’t afford this.” Do you know what it does?
It stops you from even thinking creatively or outside of the box. It’s shifting it. That’s what this episode is about. Here’s the word that you may have heard or that you say and now what can you fill in there? As opposed to “We can’t afford it” on “How can we?” One is death. You shut it down. You’re not even going to think about it because you can’t.
Let’s unpack this a little bit more. If I’m saying, “We can’t afford it,” what I’m doing is now that’s my reason, excuse, justification, and my truth. It doesn’t mean it is true. You’ve even said this before if someone else can afford it, why can’t I? If someone else has it, if someone else is doing it, it means it’s possible. It’s available. It’s someone else’s buying it. If someone else’s doing it. Someone else has created the financial ability to do that. It doesn’t mean it’s impossible. If you keep saying, “I can’t afford this.” It all of a sudden sets a limit. It puts a limit on top of what you’re capable of, what’s possible for you. It becomes true. Everything I see then is within the confines of, “I can’t afford this because all I can afford is that. Now I’m going to start settling.”
All your actions back that up. Even while you’re watching TV for four hours a night. Because you can’t afford it, why even do anything about it? As opposed to getting a side hustle, creating an online business, or doing something that adds value for the people around you to make money.
It’s always recognizing that this is what we’re saying, “We can’t afford it,” then it’s to be able to go, “Do I want to afford it?” That’s what I would suggest. Do I want to know how to afford it? If someone else can afford it, do I want to know what they know? Do I want to understand what they understand? They know something, I don’t know. The question has to be, do I want to know what they know? If you want to know how to afford it, you shift into that question of, how can I afford this? Do I need to get a side hustle? Do I need to stop doing the job that I’m doing? Do I need to stop hanging out with the people I’m hanging out with? Do I need to understand the money? Do I need to stop spending so much money over there because I make a lot and my priorities are misaligned? It’s not that I can’t afford it. I’m just buying all this other stuff that I don’t want to keep up with the Joneses or the people that make me feel better when it’s not even what I want. It’s just an allocation of my money.
Some people make enough money to afford what they want, but their money is tied up because of the commitments that they made, whether it’s the mortgage of the houses and your credit card debt. The things that they thought mattered doesn’t matter. You can’t afford that and it’s currently. Maybe you can’t afford it now. That’s okay. There have been situations where it’s like, “I want X and we can’t afford it or it doesn’t make sense now. How can we?”
It’s not that I can’t ever.
What do I need to do? Who do I need to become to be able to afford to do whatever it is I want to do? We could do a whole episode on this looking at financially too of like, where am I spending money that I don’t need to be spending money? “What interest have I always had that I could learn, then I could give that value to other people and charge them for it to make more money?”
The whole point though is one is going to shut you down and one is going to open you up. One’s going to speak death. One’s going to speak life. One is going to keep you where you are. One is going to take you to where you’ve never been. The reality comes down to if you find yourself saying this and it’s getting you the results that you want, then keep saying it. If it’s not getting you the results that you want, then we would suggest, “How can I?”
It’s not getting you the results if you want something and you say, “I can’t afford it.” If it’s something you don’t want or it’s something that your kids like at the grocery store. I never say that to our kids. I’m not going to say, “We can’t afford that.” I say no but I’m not going to give a justification or an excuse even if we can or can’t afford it. That never comes. Along with the same lines is, “We don’t have time for that.”
I heard a girlfriend say that. She says, “Julia, I don’t have time for that” As soon as she was saying it, she looked up and knew who she was saying it to. She was like, “Take it back,” but it was out there. I’m glad you said that one.
This is true as well. Tell me what you do on a daily and weekly basis, and I guarantee you have time.
Here’s the cool part about time. This is where we as people can start to justify the means in which someone is growing up with like they had an easier go, they grew up with this family, they live here or whatever it is. That’s part of human nature. Here’s where I think that God was like, “Let’s keep the playing field equal.” All of us and every single one of us. From the person that is begging on the side of the road, to Apple which is the first $2 trillion, $3 trillion company. All of these people in between have the exact same amount of time in a given day, 24 hours. It has nothing to do with where they started or where they live. None of it. We could go on and on. There could be many opinions around that. The reality is we all have the exact same amount of time in our day.Words can bring life, and words can create death. Click To Tweet
It is where you choose to spend your time. It doesn’t necessarily even have to be financial. It’s like, “I’d love to be with my kids more, but I don’t have time.” You do. It’s a choice. Don’t be a victim of your own choices.
We’re the ones that are creating busy. We’re the ones that are creating our schedule. We’re the ones that are in avoidance. We’re the ones that aren’t looking at what we want most. At first, I will agree that this is a hard one to swallow because it’s easy to go, “Yeah, but you don’t understand. I have to do this. I have to do that. I have to be here. I have to go there. I have to have to, which is why I don’t have time.” What we do is we start to blame.
You’re saying you’re the victim based on what you signed up for. If you have kids and you have them in different sporting things, the school activities, your work stuff, you want to work out, and then you got to watch your favorite shows at a certain time. Now you can record them, but you still got to spend the time watching the shows. You sign up for all of these things and then you’re like, “I’m exhausted. I don’t have any time for whatever it is.”
The reality is it’s not that you don’t have time. You can tap out. I don’t have to take responsibility. I can blame it on something else. I don’t have to get clear. I don’t have to look at the hard things. I read a quote by Darren Hardy that says, “Busy is just a way to avoid the things that are hard and uncomfortable.” It’s a mask that allows me to go, “I’m doing all these things and I’m busy so I can’t do X, Y, and Z. The things I want most.” It’s a way to avoid doing the things that you want to be doing most. Someone sent me a quote that says, “Next time you say, ‘I don’t have time for this,’ try saying, ‘It’s not that important to me.’”
“It’s not a priority,” that’s what you’re saying. We’ve seen it in situations even with friends like, “I don’t have time this week.” That’s totally cool, I understand. I’m not a priority. Just say that you’re not a priority this week because I filled my schedule with all this other stuff. That’s what they’re saying to you because we all have this same amount of time in the day. Maybe that week you have booked out three weeks in advance. That’s fair. Moving forward though, if there’s a disconnect as far as like, “I don’t have time,” you keep adding stuff to the next week and the following week. That’s what they’re saying. If you have a friend that says, “I don’t have time to get together this week or next week.” They’re saying, “You’re not that important to me and I’ll circle back around with you when you are.”
Even saying that with our kids like, “I don’t have time to play with you.” Think about it and use it as a check and balance, “It’s not that important to me now. I want to get up and do quiet time in the morning with God or go workout but I don’t have time.” Try saying, “I’m not going to get up tomorrow and pray because it’s not that important to me. I’m not going to get up and work out tomorrow because it’s not that important to me,” and then feel yourself go, “Yes, it is important to me.” Prove it then because you still have 24 hours.
You’re the one that makes your schedule. You’re the one that’s conducting all these pieces. It opens up a can of worms. Maybe you have to look at your job and go, “I don’t even like these hours.” We might have to find a job that’s more accommodating to the hours that you want to be working. It might mean that you go to bed a little bit later, so you can work out or you wake up a little bit earlier, so you can have time with God. When you create this hard-fast ability within yourself to say, “No, it’s not that I don’t have enough time. It’s just that I’m not taking ownership for how I’m spending my time.”
We’ve been there at a certain point of our life where you let comfort kill your dreams. If you like going to bed at 8:00, 9:00, or 10:00, and waking up at 7:00, 8:00, or 9:00, or whatever that is, that’s your norm. Changing that and getting 1, 2, 3, or 4 hours less sleep and doing something or watching normally. I forget the statistic on how much TV people watch.
How much we’re on social media and YouTube.
It’s like with your phones, it tells you your screen time. There have been times where I’ll listen to a lot of stuff while I’m driving and stuff. It’s interesting as it pops up, you’re like, “Really?” My phone was doing something on or playing something for that amount of time. It’s awakening of like, “Am I just comfortable in what I’m saying I want?” I really don’t want because I’m not willing to give up that extra hour of sleep, the TV, or tell my kids, “We’re only going to do one activity. We’re not going to do four different sports all throughout the year. We’re going to trim it back so we can create some of the things that we want to as a family that’s important.” That’s going to take precedent, which is spending time together going hiking, camping, or quality time. Instead of you’re there but you’re not because you’re running them around and dropping them off, picking them up, going here and going there. At the end of the night, I was with you but I wasn’t really with you. There’s no connection.
If you look at the result of that, every time I say to myself, “I don’t have time for that,” it’s anxiety-ridden. Many people are talking about how stressed out they feel and how anxious you feel. If you struggle with stress and anxiety, I honestly want you to do a self-check, a gut check and ask yourself, how many times am I saying to myself, “I don’t have enough time. I can’t afford this.” Those create so much anxiety and stress that it’s self-induced. It’s not that the world isn’t giving you more time. You have to choose what you want to do with your time.
Part of our anxiety and stress is built upon these thoughts, “I don’t have enough time. Now I’m buzzing. Now I’m spinning. Now I’m wreaking havoc on my family because they’re in the way. They’re now getting in the way of the most important things.” You forget that they are the most important things. This anxiety builds and we’re making anxiety-based decisions and so on and on, only to feel more anxious and more stressed. We have less and less time and we’re getting less and less done. We’re the self-fulfilling prophecy. I have one, “I will when.” When I have more money then I will, when my schedule is making a little bit more sense, when my spouse is fully supporting, when the stars align. “When I then I.” It’s this never-ending bunny trail off waiting for the perfect time and the perfect time never comes.
It’s a way out, but it’s giving yourself hope without accountability. We’ve done that. There was a time we wanted to travel in an RV. Before we got married, we went to go put a deposit on an RV. I had a good job and we were going to quit at a certain time. We gave this example in one of the shows, but we did that exact same thing. When we get here, then we will. Ten years later after going through the process of, “When this happens,” you keep stretching it out. You keep setting the bar higher of like, “When we have this amount of money, then we’ll do it.” You’re like, “We don’t have enough money. When we get this amount of money, then we’ll do it.”
There became a point in our lives to traveling in an RV where it was enough is enough. We had that midlife awakening of like, “We’re not going to keep doing it. We have to start living intentionally, living now.” That’s when we jumped in the RV and traveled the first time because we had to break that habit and pattern for ourselves of like, “We’re going to do it because there isn’t ever enough time.” We started having more kids.
The bar you set is like, “We will, when we have more time,” to our last point. There’s “never enough time.” We’ll keep pushing that back. I will when I make more money. Only, I’m adjusting how much I’m spending. It’s like my threshold never quite gets there. I will when and then COVID happens. I will when and then the market changes. We have all these other external factors. The problem is not setting a date. I believe and we’ll unpack this a little bit because there is responsibility in setting dates, having accountability, and making sure that you’re working backward. There’s a lot of moving pieces in a lot of our lives. We’ll create a division here on what we mean. It’s when you’re casting this hope idea with no accountability around it. It’s like, “I’m going to put off tomorrow what I need to be doing now.”
You have to be planting seeds now. Once you identify what it is you want, you have to start. It could be a week, a month, or even a year before you can do what you want. Because of the decisions you made in the past committed you for a certain amount of time whether it’s financially or time commitment, you have to start to deconstruct that so you can reconstruct exactly what you want. There is a process to it. It is not like, “When I get there then I’ll do that.” It is to a certain extent, “What do I want working backward? What do I need to do? Who do I need to become?” You then move forward in a different way. Not having a game plan around is what I’m saying. If you don’t have a game plan around it financially, time, being on the same page with your spouse, and making a commitment of, “Here’s what we’re going to do. Here’s what we need to stop doing. Here’s what we need to start doing to be able to get this,” when we say we’re going to.
Most of the differences, here’s how you know that you’re saying it and it is just an out. If you were to sit down and say, “We’re going to do this. We will do this when we get here. Here’s how this is going to look.” You have a game plan. You have it written down. You have the things you’re going to change. The things you’re going to add. The things that you need to know. The things that you need to learn. If that doesn’t happen or if it takes longer, you have a well thought out plan. That’s different than, “When I get there, then I will,” but not changing anything in between. It’s continuing to do the same thing. I’ll give you a couple of examples. “When I make more money then I’ll tithe.” No, you won’t. If you don’t know how to tithe off of $10 and you can’t give $1 away, when you make $100,000, you’re not going to sign a check for $10,000. You’ll be like, “When I have more time, then I’ll work on my dreams.”
No, because if you can’t work on your dreams five minutes a day, you’re not going to work on your dreams full time. “When I retire, then I’ll start to travel the country and pursue the things I want.” No offense, but then you get to be 70 and you’re old. Your body hurts and it aches, and you get more tired. I hear my aunts and uncles saying this, “All I want to do is travel but now my body hurts.” They are then making an excuse of why they’re not. You waited 70 years to do it, now you’re 70 and you’re saying that you are in too much pain. What we’re doing is we’re putting off living. I’m putting off figuring it out
If I want to pursue the life of my dreams, if I want to make more money, I’m not going to wait until then to start doing it. I’m going to say, “If that’s what I want, how do I do this now? If I want to travel the country in an RV, what is the step I need to take now to start doing that? If I want to be fit and healthy, what is something that I need to do now? If I want to have more time to hang with my kids, what is it that I need to do at this moment?” Take what it is that you want. Don’t even put it off a week or a month. Ask yourself, “What do I need to do now to get this done?” Maybe it’s only twenty minutes with your kid, but maybe you haven’t spent twenty minutes of focused attention in a long time. Start with twenty minutes. If it’s, “I want an RV,” what kind? Have you gone and sat in one?
How many times have we done that? We shop for RVs for almost for ten years. We’d go to the big conventions down there and walk all of them. We looked at every make and model for years and years. We’re going to do this because we are irritated with lying to ourselves.Don’t let your comfort kill your dreams. Click To Tweet
At that point, you know what you’re looking for. You know the prices. You’ve shopped around. You know when a good deal pops up. You know the color. You know the make. You know all of that.
That’s our next episode, go test drive your dream. Whether it’s where you want to live, a house, a car that you want, a job, or whatever, go test drive it.
Don’t wait for, “When I get there, then I will.” Stop saying that. What I want you to say is, “Here’s what I want, own it. What can I do now to make space and time?” We already talked about the time thing. You do have time. If it’s ten minutes, “I don’t have time to work out.” You’ve got ten minutes.
How many times whether it’s friends or family where they’ve been talking about the same thing of what they’re going to do for so long.
Make the time to do it now. If you want to try it, if you want to look for a new job, you don’t like your job. Start looking now. What can you do now? If you want to lose weight, walk ten minutes. It doesn’t matter what it is. Stop saying. “When I get there, then I will.” Start by saying, “What is the one thing that I want? What is one thing I can do now to start moving in that direction?” Do it every single day because what you’re doing is, you’re making your dreams not about, “When I get there.” You’re making it about now. You’re bringing them into you now.
We could go in-depth on a lot more of these. I’m going to tie a couple together because they’re similar but different. One of the things that we heard was, “I wish I could do that. You’re lucky.” We heard that a lot when we traveled RV. We traveled RV two different times. The first time with two kids. The second time with three kids. When we would go into the RV parks and be talking to people, we ran into a decent amount of people. The majority of them were older and retired. There is a movement of the conversion van and people living out of that and working remotely. We’d run into people that were the weekend warriors. They would be up there and be like, “I wish I could do that. You’re lucky” You’re like, “No.”
You have no idea the sacrifices and all the things that we did in preparation. This wasn’t an overnight thing. It was many years in the making and letting go of that whole belief of “when I get there” because we didn’t believe in it. We didn’t think it was possible. It was on our vision board. A lot of people, look at other individuals that are successful and they’re like, “They’re lucky.” If you knew what they did on a daily and weekly basis, and the sacrifices that they make to get what they have. You see the fruit but you don’t see the time, effort, and energy or the root of it to be where they’re at.
I have a different spin on that but both are valid. I’ve had a couple of people reach out and go, “You’re lucky to have done an RV. How in the world did you do that?” This is what went through my head, it’s not that hard to get yourself in a position to do this. It doesn’t cost that much more money than you’re probably already spending. When we looked at everything when it was all said and done, the amount of money that we were spending in a home with all of our stuff, all the activities, and all the things that you do. You looked at how much we were spending from gas and travel and some excursions, it was the same.
That transition of the month to month is not that hard. We make it out to be something bigger. You and I are no different. That’s why I kept wanting to tell people that we’re no different. It doesn’t matter how old your kids are or how young your kids are if you have kids or no kids. It’s a decision. If you want to do it, you can do this. It’s interesting when you hear some go, “You’re so lucky. I wish I could do it.” It may not be as hard as you’ve made it out in your head to be is my thought. or the polar opposite to what I hear you saying is, “Do you want what I have in my hand? Do you want what I have in my heart? Are you willing to do the journey to be successful or do you want to just be successful?”
Are you willing to go through the process that we have gone through to live the life that we’re living?
Let’s talk about both. The first idea is, “You’re lucky. I wish I could do that.” It may not be that hard for you to do what you want to do. That’s the reality. The thing that stops us is the, “I can’t.”
Sometimes the scariest thing is getting what you want ultimately because you can hide behind, “I don’t have time. They’re so lucky, but I can’t have that.” Sometimes getting what you want, depending on how you grew up, your limiting beliefs, and your environment. If you start going after, getting, and owning what you want, you’d be surprised that it’s not as hard and you’re not far off from living into and out of what you want.
It’s letting yourself. I believe that God wants what we want. If it’s in me that I want it, He’s already positioned favor, flow, ease, grace, resources, and people. It’s just me letting me have what I want. On one hand, if you’re looking at something in your life that you go, “They’re so lucky. I wish I could do that.” You may able to if you let yourself. It may not be that hard when you start asking for help. When you start reaching out. When you start looking for things. When you start paying attention, you may be a few dominoes away. It may be the belief that “I can if I let myself.” I want to speak to that point.
It may not be that hard. Go find a few people that are doing it and ask them. When these people called and they were like, “How did you make the RV happen?” I shared a couple of insights. I didn’t think of that. I didn’t realize it was that easy. I’m a few dominoes or a few decisions away from having exactly what I wanted. To your point, we look at people who are successful. We look at marriages that are well connected. We look at someone who’s fit. We look at people who are creating a big impact and we think, “I want what they have.” What you were saying is, do you want what they have? If so, are you willing to journey? Are you willing to go down the path that they went down to have it? Do you want what’s in their hand or do you want what’s in their heart?
Physically it’s easy. A lot of people relate to someone that’s physically fit. You know they eat good and they workout. There are a lot of people that don’t like working out. It prohibits them right away. You have to eat better food and maybe how you grew up or you think eating healthy is way harder than it is, and it’s gross. It’s easy to eat healthily. Working out wise, the science behind working out has changed dramatically. Everybody’s type is different, understand that. At the same time, you don’t have to work out for hours a day. Back in the ‘80s and ‘90s, you work out a lot.
I went through that phase. I remember in high school, I’d spend hours at the gym. I didn’t have to because I didn’t understand, but it’s evolved. What do you want? You look at someone that’s crazy fit. They do competitions and that’s their passion. That’s what they love. You’re probably not going to do that. Maybe you’ll step into that, but it’s the first step. Let’s start eating a little bit better, moving my body, and then you feel better. You’re like, “I’m going to start gaining more knowledge to workout and eat better even more to that next level and to the next level. It becomes second nature.”
That’s the key. It’s the knowledge. Do I want the knowledge? I don’t want to just get healthy. I want to get healthy. I want to know why I’m getting healthy. I want to enjoy the journey of becoming a better person. I want to enjoy the journey of becoming healthier. I want to enjoy the journey of becoming a wealth mindset type of person so that when I get there, I stay there. This comes down to a choice. Pick your heart, #PickYourHeart.
This is another thing that I hear people say. I’ve said in the past that I don’t know how to do that. You didn’t know how to walk either and you figured that out. You didn’t know how to drive a car, you went through a process and you figured that out. I don’t know how to use the internet. That’s great. There are classes and workshops. You can have someone help you figure that out. I don’t know, “How to anymore.” The how-tos are out there. That’s what we’ve talked about too. You need that within a combination of understanding your limiting beliefs, your patterns, and your truths that you’ve created for yourself that are not true. There are lies that are prohibiting you from living your dreams.
That’s why even that #PickYourHeart is it’s hard to learn something new and it’s hard to stay where you are. It’s hard to be fat and it’s hard to be fit. It’s hard to have no money. It’s hard to have money. It’s hard to be married. It’s hard to be single. There’s a hard to everything. If we’re trying to find the path of least resistance, we’re never going to be proud. It’s a quote from Tony Robbins that I love, “The path of least resistance will never make you proud.” What we’re saying is pick the hard that you want most. People go, “It’s not hard to have money.” Maybe you haven’t had it. There are a lot of decisions that go around making more money, managing your money, protecting your money, and understanding how to spend it. When you become healthier it is hard to look. There’s a lot to learn but once you learn it, it becomes a little bit easier to understand as you go through the journey. It’s hard to work for someone else, it’s hard to start your own business. It’s hard to have no kids, and it’s hard to have a lot of kids. Pick your heart.
Until it becomes second nature. You look and it’s easy to compare and look at someone else and they figured it out. From an outside perspective have everything whether it’s monetary or they’re in good shape or have a great marriage. They went through the process to be able to get that. It’s easy to look at something as the end result but not understanding. Anybody that first starts something, you’re going to feel insecure. You’re going to feel stupid. You’re going to have all these emotions that come up. Every master was once a disaster and you have to understand that. It’s part of the process of becoming what you want. We talked about that a little bit as far as comparing which can kill your dreams right away.You have to choose what you want to do with your time. Click To Tweet
That’s a good question. If you find yourself asking, “I don’t know how,” then you immediately need to ask yourself, “Do I honestly want to know how?” “I do,” then prove it. Now I have to take the steps. I have to act a little insecure and call someone who knows more. I’ve got to get on Google and read things 300 times until I start to absorb it. I need to take the steps, but instead of hiding behind, “I don’t know or I don’t know how.” That’s an avoidance strategy of prolonging something that you need to look at. We just punted off, “I don’t know. I don’t know how.” What we’re doing is we’re punting off the responsibility.
It’s a dream killer. “I don’t know how,” so you don’t even get started.
As opposed to, “Do I want to know?” If the answer is yes, I want to know how to have a passionate relationship. I want to know how to start my own business. I want to know how to go to the next level.
The first step is the hardest step most often. Let’s do two more, “Thank God it’s Friday,” and then the other one is, “Just killing time.” You hear that a lot on people that have jobs that don’t love their job but they chose to do it. I’ve heard that quite a few times where you can see if someone’s bored at a job. They’re like, “Thirty more minutes, just killing some time here.”
Do you know who I love on this topic? Jesse Itzler. He’s got this whole idea of building your life resume. For example, the average male lives 78 years. The way Jesse starts to break it down is that means you have 78 summers and 78 Christmases. If you have a three-year-old and in theory, they only stay with you until they’re eighteen, you only have fifteen more Christmases with your baby. He breaks it down to where you’re like, “Your parents are 75 years old.” You’re like, “I got to go to Christmas with my parents one more time.” You have three more Christmases with your parents. That’s it. What we’re looking at is, “I’m just killing time. Just putting on my time. Thank God it’s Friday.” What if you only have seven more Fridays?
This goes back into some of the things that we were talking about. It’s like, “What is the priority?” It’s your choice that you filled out the application, did the interview, and accepted the job. Most of the time, this is what I hear. You’re like, “Thank God it’s Friday.” Why not thank every day. You woke up and you’re alive and you get to choose to go to a job that you like or dislike. You get to choose to start a business. You have that choice.
I feel like we’ve drawn some light on this consciousness around this because we’ve started to hear it a lot from people. It almost makes me sad because if I’m putting in my time like, “It’s Monday and I’m living for the weekend,” which is why all of us party all weekend long, or then we’re continuing to do the things that we’re not even experiencing in our life and then it’s Monday again, then Wednesday is hump day, and then Friday’s like, “Thank God it’s Friday.” How sad? You’re settling for okay, fine, average, and even mediocre waiting for a weekend.
Most of the time when you say that to your point, if you’re younger, you may party a lot and drink a lot. You may do things that are instant gratification. For two days, I’m going to sleep, I’m going to eat whatever I want, I’m going to drink, and I’m going to do the things that bring me what you think is joy or fulfillment because you’re trying to check out knowing you have to go back on Monday.
Here’s what we’re doing. I don’t like the job which I’m checked out because I can’t wait until Friday. I then go and I entertain myself with other ways to check out. That’s what we’re doing. I’m checking out seven days a week of the one life that I get and then I keep doing it over and over again,
It then it spills into I don’t have time. I don’t have enough money. I don’t have those because you’re on this hamster wheel of Monday through Friday, not liking what you do. Saturday and Sunday, doing things that make you check out. You’re on this vicious cycle.
All of them break my heart because I feel like there could be many other follow-up things that are going on. You don’t understand about this, I have to have this job, and there are many other things. The majority of what I could summarize with that concept is that life is too short to be settling in these areas of our lives that are causing us to wait for Friday or be bummed about a Monday or be checking out with our different extracurricular activities that we’re choosing to do. We’re missing the essence of life. We’re missing the application of me and a life that I love and that I’m proud of.
Going back to pick your heart, it’s hard to clarify what you want. It’s hard to identify what you want to do with your life, where you want to spend your time, and who you want to spend your time with. It’s hard to live aware and it’s hard to chase your dreams, but so it’s hard to have a job that you don’t like and waiting for Friday and drinking all weekend. We’ve been in both sides. I feel like for me, it’s almost awakening that thing on the inside of you like, “Pick it then. What are the things that I want most?” If one hard is going to get me everything that I want and one hard is going to get me more hard and nothing that I want.
Another one that is right in line with this is sarcastically saying, “Living the dream.” If you say these words, I challenge you, I encourage you to rethink it, to sit back and say, “Why am I saying this?” If you don’t understand, then you can say, “I don’t even know where to start to help change these.” I’m going to say go to The Dream Factory and Co and do our six-week course because it’s the awakening to understand some of your thoughts, patterns, and the truths that you’ve created for yourself that are not true. They’re just your truth. You’ve got to replace it with something else and being surrounded with other people that are figuring this out too, as we are as well go to the next level and try new things.
Even the show, we didn’t know how to do a show and we’re still figuring it out but we’re on steps 3 or 4 or 5. We’re still figuring out our logo for the show but we want to get started. We’re not saying we can’t start a show because we don’t have the logo for it. We’re getting started knowing that we’re figuring it out as we go. What it looks like and everything that we’re doing will be different in a few months from now and a couple of years from now. We’re going to get better than where we started. It’s understanding that now we’re aware of that. We can’t expect to be a black belt in this when we’re getting started.
I’m still trying to put on my gear. I think it’s on backward.
In anything in life, you can’t expect to be at the end without going through the process because you need that mentally, physically, and spiritually to be able to handle and sustain whatever that may be for you.
I’m glad that we talked this out. I’m glad that we created some space to talk about some of the biggest things that we hear people say, and that we’ve said that stop you from your entry point. This is part of the battle. If I could say a fourth of the battle is identifying the first initial thoughts that are keeping you, then the next is you go into clarity and we do all the things. If you can catch your words, you can see that words matter, and you can see the power of our words, that life or death is in the power of your words. You realize that you may not be able to control the economy. You may not be able to control other people. I can’t control anything else, but what I can control is the thoughts that I think and the words that I speak. You’re onto something.
As I read different books and I’ve had a bunch of books that I’ve wanted to go back and read. I want to do a YouTube video but follow the YouTube channel too because I’m going to do some specifically on this as far as the mindset and planting seeds. I would highly recommend getting connected, being around people that are wanting to do something and be better so they can call you out too. If you’re hanging around the same people that are saying all the same things like, “Let’s tagged in a group text, ‘Thank God it’s Friday.’” You’re not going to get out of that rat race. You need to be around new people that are going to challenge you and encourage you, but hold you accountable to stop saying some of those things that are killing your dreams and killing the possibilities of what is possible for what is waiting for you in life. You have to do something different than you’ve done up until this point in life. Most of the time it’s who you surround yourself with. You’ve got to get different perspectives.
It includes surrounding yourself with your own thoughts.
You’ve got to incorporate some new thoughts. We greatly appreciate you joining us.
We’ll see you next time.
- Secrets of the Millionaire Mind
- YouTube – The Dream Factory and Co.
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